Today was to be Part III/V of the “Go Forth and Ceribrize Citizens Survival Guide to Sound Reasoning”. We were to discuss “Mental Magicians Using Slight of Mind”; political pixie dust sprinkling after a politico has magic wand-whacked you into believing they could even pull a rabbit out of, well, anywhere. Suspect it when the Houdini hoodlums of rhetoric have you believing up is down and loving every minute.

   Recent city council events force me to take pause. One never passes up a teachable moment displayed in real life, especially if it has been recorded forever.

   The coffers of our award-winning community cable TV treasure chest overflow with great viewing; intrigue, accusations, brazen character assassinations and nefarious dealings. Check out the Agenda Item 26 video for the 21 August council meeting and watch some genuine, “Gawly Goober, did he really say that” examples of “Mental Magicians Using Slight of Mind”. Spinning their dark arts, two councilmen ‘abba-crap – drag-us’ to new depths.

   We’ll take the second example first. In this special form of “Mental Magicians Using Slight of Mind” known as ‘distract and destroy’, the politico makes irrelevant comments that are also irresponsible and painfully cruel. This is what I call, “slibel”. This stands for silly politicians spewing nastiness in a publicly televised forum. It often occurs as a seemingly suicidal ritual akin to bloodying their nose on the turf of the dreaded suit- skinned land shark (attorney), and daring them to sue.

   One councilman, while discussing how to handle interim city manager duties, said with marked disgust, that “...the interim (police) chief...liked martinis better than he liked to do police work...” When challenged, he became defiant. Ah, but what followed was more magic. The magic of doing nothing, not unlike when a little boy puts his hands over his eyes and triumphantly exclaims, “I’m invisible!”

   The mayor must uphold the City’s Code of Conduct. When dark lords of mayhem spin their spells of insult, insinuation and inflammatory incantations, the righteous must not be transfixed and hesitant to don the protective cloak of ethics, brandish the wand of wisdom and smack the gavel of gallantry. The sophomoric bullying and bellicose balderdash of this councilman must stop. It is rude, embarrassing and perhaps most recently, legally actionable. It was grounds for censure and prime ‘slibel’ time.

   The first episode of “Mental Magicians Using Slight of Mind” on the Agenda Item 26 video was utter nonsense about the double-dipping, dastardly, soon to retire city manager who will be re-hired as the interim. Posing as a pillar of righteous indignation and guardian of public funds, another councilman feigns agonizing over having to condescend to clarify for us poor mortals how there’s trouble in Fairfield city. And that starts with a “T”, which rhymes with “D” and that stands for double-dipping. And what are the salary costs for one on paid administrative leave whom seems bent on delaying their trial?

   Spare us the posturing and pixie dust. It may be a very long time before we get another city manager and unless all agree we clearly go without an interim hire, the costs to the city to hire whoever may be more, owing to benefits. The present manager will have earned his retirement, councilman. If you don’t think we need an interim, as the assistant can handle it, then why did we have an assistant in the first place; to be a place card just in case? Please, spare us the mental magic; you who hired a deputy police chief.