As a Colonel, and even more so as a medical oncologist, events often transpire which summon you to act when all information is not available or irrefutably clear. Yet you intervene because hard earned experience tells you that failing is more unacceptable than what in hindsight may be seen as a premature action. Thus consider this an unsolicited prescription from one seeing enormous pain and one who fears it will worsen.
Accept my sincere promise for public and personal apology if my comments miss the mark. I am vastly more concerned with helping the healing and keeping the casualty count low regarding a situation we are all in, in a sense, with councilman Kardos.
The notions of “white light” and “white knights” are both mythical. Light is made of many colors and every man is imperfect. A man’s sole (read “soul”) makeup is not only the sum total of their misdeeds. This is as true for councilman Kardos as for all of us. If anyone wants to go searching for folk’s warty and ugly aspects, a bumper crop is no farther than a mirror. Nonetheless, friends and supporters are measured by saying what is needed, not necessarily what is nice
Medicine tells us much about violence against women and the underlying anger issues. Pathological anger meets the criteria of addiction-a repetitive behavior that is self propagating to which one becomes dependent and which continues despite enormous adverse outcomes. In hindsight, sad and senseless violent acts are comprehensible and not “out of nowhere”. Furthermore, when those committing such acts have considerable aptitude, talents and accomplishments they have often been shielded from others intervening earlier when warning signs were apparent.
Politicians embroiled in such situations as the one we find ourselves in now, rarely take the high road. Doing so is seen as anathema when in fact it is the only chance for all who have been damaged to rise again. Although resurrection is everything it’s cracked up to be, it requires utter humility and the proverbial “dying to oneself” first. That is why it is rare.
When those who fall are rather smart, have highly developed data gathering skills and excel with words, they often compound the problem by “spinning” it out of control a la a former councilman. All involved should be spared that. No one needs to hear again any variations of “I didn’t inhale”.
The focus must be on the casualties. Yes, councilmen Kardos is on that list to be certain and concern for him figures largely, but in primary position we have the complainant, the ER staff who I assure you are never quick to act as they did, local law enforcement officers, family, friends, city officials; indeed all of Fairfield. We hurt together, we heal together. .
Where does the healing begin? One crucial step needed to go forward is genuine contrition and confession and then professional help. Frank, as a friend and supporter of your many good works and considerable talents, I urge you to the high road and toaccept the human reality that one’s greatest demon is they and help is needed to make amends.
Mr. Mayor, I urge you to acknowledge publicly the great works and talents of councilmen Kardos while beseeching your colleague to apologize to all, with no proviso, no hook, no rationalization, and no hint of covert solicitation for pity, patience or “special consideration” owing to past glories and submit himself humbly to the better judgments’ and mercies of the law and the good folk of Fairfield.
Dr Meadows of the Board of Education is correct; there should be no interaction with students. The time for public life, after public apology, is over. In addition to pressing private and legal issues, Councilman Kardos’ last act of pubic service should be fittingly a public service.
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